yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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