She is in my trunk
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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