the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
