Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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