Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
