i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
