It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
