You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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