So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
