After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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