Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
don't judge my taste in strippers
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
