Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
