I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
