Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
