Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
