Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
