I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
