rhymes with "ouble enetration"
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
