Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
