Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
