My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
