Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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