i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
