She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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