Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
