im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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