If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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