i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
