so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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