Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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