I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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