Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
