worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I party with great urgency now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
