it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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