that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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