I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
