I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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