is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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