Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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