may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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