What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
