Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
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