He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
