overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
