I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Oh god it's open bar.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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