I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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