did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
