Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
