i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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