On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
